


you broke me first

by kaitycole



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:34:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26982229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaitycole/pseuds/kaitycole
Summary: You and Oikawa dated all three years of high school, that is until he broke up with you out of nowhere. Then three years later, you open the door of Iwaizumi’s apartment to find Oikawa there.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Reader, Oikawa Tooru/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 146





	1. Chapter 1

The last thing Oikawa is expecting is to see you opening the door to Iwaizumi’s apartment. He finds himself blinking slowly as he leans back to see if he read the apartment number correctly, surely this was a mistake. You both stand there silently, locked in some kind of trance; it has been roughly three years since you had broken up.

His eyes scan over you; you look the exactly the same, but at the same time you didn’t. Your hair is shorter, just barely touching your shoulders. Your eyes don’t look as innocent, break-ups tend to dull that. You do look a little smaller than you used to or maybe the sweatshirt is just baggy, he couldn’t tell.

You feel your chest tighten, standing just feet from him…it hurts. He looks the same as he did three years ago and apparently still has the same effect on you too. You chew the inside of your cheek as you glance over those familiar features. His dark brown hair is a little shorter, his brown eyes still felt like they looked through you, but he’s missing his signature smirk.

Oikawa shuffles, readjusting the bag he’s carrying on his shoulder. Before he can speak, Iwa’s voice breaks the silence.

“Y/N, who’s at the door?” He wears the same shocked expression when he sees Oikawa as you.

Oikawa just throws up a wave.

“I thought you were coming tomorrow?”

You tilt your head over to the side that Iwa is on, glancing up at him; that was news to you.

“Iwa-chan, don’t be rude!” His hand rubs the back of his neck, a nervous gesture. “I caught an earlier flight.”

“Well come in.” The two of you move out of the doorway to allow Oikawa entry. You scurry off into the kitchen, needing distance to fill your lungs with air. Fragmented flashbacks of your break-up start surfacing as you pour everyone a glass of water.

——

This was the day you dreaded the most. Walking into the airport with the most important person to you and knowing that you’d be walking out without him. But you both came up with a plan: texts, emails, phone calls and video chats along with matching up when either of you could fly to the other. You felt confident in making the distance thing work; it’d be hard, but nothing worth having comes easy, right? Or at least that’s what you had thought.

Oikawa’s flight had just been called, people were shuffling over to hand in their tickets and board. This was the part in the movie where the love interest says their final goodbye, walks away and turns back one last time.

“Y/N, I think we should break-up.”

Your stomach flopped as you knitted your brows together. Those seven words weren’t part of your plan. They were seemingly the opposite of it and you swore you could feel the air leaving your lungs.

“But…we…the plan…”

“It was a good plan on paper,” he shrugged smugly, “I have to get going.”

And that was it. It was over. Just like that, three years of laughter, tears and love was just gone. You watched as he walked off to board, half expecting him to turn and look at you one last time. But he doesn’t. That’s when you feel the warm tears streaming down your face, that’s when you feel your heart shatter.

——

Iwa and Oikawa are exchanging small banter which mostly consisted of Iwa making fun of Oikawa. Your hands shake as you sit the glasses on the table in the living room and Iwaizumi is immediately worried. He’s in uncharted territory, Oikawa living abroad made it easier to avoid the topic. You had been doing a lot better the last year and a half compared to the mess you were after the break-up. Just the other day you had brought up a memory of the three of you with fondness in your voice, but a memory and the actual thing in front of you, were completely different.

You shake your head and rush back into the kitchen, only to find Iwaizumi has followed you.

“Talk to me.”

“I’m fine.” Your voice cracks a little.

He cocks his head to the side, clearly unamused with your lies.

“Why didn’t you tell me he was coming?”

“Well, he was supposed to come in tomorrow and I knew you’d be doing your research project then. He was going to stay with…” He stops, not sure how to approach that topic.

“His girlfriend? I can handle it, we broke up a long time ago.”

——

It had been six months since your break-up and your friends had finally managed you to agree to go out. They said as a college freshman it was a rite of passage to go to crazy parties and get a rebound.

The beer was warm, music too loud, and you were leaned up against a wall, but your friends were having fun. You absentmindedly scrolled through social media when you saw his face. You had forgotten you were even following him since it seemed he feel off all forms of social media. He was smiling with his arm draped over some girl’s shoulder. You knew you weren’t nearly intoxicated enough to blame the lukewarm beer for your actions, but you did anyways as you click on her username.

She’s beautiful, the kind of beautiful where the girl swears she’s not and you wanna punch her. Long blonde hair with bright blue eyes. But it’s not her photos that suck the breath out of you, but her bio. Or more so the line that has his initials and a date. A date that was just two weeks after you two broke-up. 

You ran outside, gasping for fresh air while trying not to throw up. You knew this would happen, it was Oikawa, but you thought that maybe those three years meant to him what they did to you. You found yourself leaning up against a nearby tree, trying not to cry. You weren’t sure which cut you deeper, the date or the fact that you thought maybe he’d have waited a bit longer. You looked at the pictures of them, the tears began to blur your vision.

Wiping them away, you finally found the strength to click unfollow. Even after six months, that one action made it feel all too official. That one picture gave you a glance into his life, but if you weren’t a part of it, why stay? That was the last time you saw Oikawa or knew anything that was going on with him, other than the small conversations you’d hear Iwaizumi have with him over the phone.

——

Oikawa patiently waits on the couch for you and Iwa to return, his foot shakes anxiously. Were you two together? No, he’d have known, right? Iwa wouldn’t hide that from him, would he? He quickly pulls out his phone, clicking on an app and then to Iwa’s profile. Of course, he found nothing; he rarely posted anything and his captions always vague. The last post was from months ago; a photo of you, sleeping on an opened textbook with a caption saying, “Zzz’s don’t get degrees.”

He clicks on yours, not really finding what he’s looking for but realizing something he didn’t want to. All of the pictures of the two of you were gone, erased. He isn’t sure why it bothers him so much, he had erased quite a few of the ones of you. But there were some that he couldn’t let himself let go of. One in particular is from your graduation party.

——

It was the day after Aoba Johsai’s senior graduation and you had invited a few people over to enjoy some food and just hang out. In just a few weeks everyone would start going in different directions so you wanted to cherish the remaining time. The volleyball club had come and a few players you’d befriended from other teams.

As the night grew on, people slowly started to head out. Oikawa found you looking up at the sky in the backyard a decent distance away from the patio where everyone who was left sat. He wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“Whatcha doing, princess?”

You let out a soft sigh, “Just thinking.”

He turned around, nodding at Bokuto who had claimed dibs on the music when he first arrived. Shortly after, a slower song started playing. Oikawa spun you around in his arms, gently swaying you to the music before he twirled you. You rested your head on his shoulder as you stayed in his arm as the music faded.

It wasn’t until a few hours later that you both had learned Hinata had taken a photograph of you two. You were mid-swirl; your dress had billowed and a huge smile was painted on your face.

——

He puts his phone back in his pocket, semi-relieved he didn’t find anything. He glances around the apartment when his eyes stop on a frame on the TV stand. It’s a picture of you and Iwa; Iwa’s arm around your waist as you hold up a peace sign, but what really catches Oikawa’s eye is the sweatshirt Iwa’s wearing in the photo is the one you’re wearing now.

“You hungry?” Iwa asks, you and him walking back into the living room.

“I can cook something, maybe,” you try to think if there’s food in the fridge, “Or we can get pizza?”

Oikawa notices how when you speak, it’s either at the table or to Iwa. “Pizza sounds great.”

About an hour later, the three of you are eating pizza, talking about old times. Oikawa and Iwa are acting just like they did back in high school, two peas in a pod. Most of the memories are easy to hear, but some are edited. Like when Iwa brings up an away game, he opts out bringing up that same game was the first time you wore Oikawa’s number. Or when Oikawa brings up the time he was in charge of running a booth at the school festival, not mentioned how you and him had stayed up all night making the signs the day before.

You hated the feeling of stepping on eggshells to talk about the past, but with you two dating all through high school, everything is tangled together. Things do get a little easier when the conversation moves to more recent events. You give a small smile as Oikawa gushes over volleyball just like he always has, remembering just why he picked San Juan to begin with. Iwa then talks a little about his sports science classes and how he’s pretty excited to graduate soon.

It gets pretty quiet when you choose not to talk about your own studies. You didn’t think it was necessary; Oikawa is visiting Iwa and Iwa already knows about your classes. But your dinner guests don’t agree with your logic.

“And you, Y/N? How’s your studies? Still wanting to work in a big lab someday?”

“Actually, I transferred programs after a semester.”

“Oh? To what?”

“To teacher education. I want to be a middle school teacher.”

Oikawa looks at you in disbelief. For as long as you two had known each other, you went on and on about being a scientist. Wanting to work in a lab to help develop vaccines to help people, he couldn’t imagine that that would ever change.

You let out a small giggle at his expression, “Blame Hajime. It was all the nights I spent helping him study that made me realize I really enjoy helping people understand new material.”

“You make me sound like I was hopeless.”

Blush covers your cheeks as you make a gesture using your thumb and index finger, “Only this much.” The space between your index finger and thumb being small.

The casual use of his best friend’s first name leaves Oikawa’s mouth dry. He knew you two had become pretty close in high school and knew that you’d be bound to run into each other going to the same university. But this, this was too close for Oikawa to handle. He can’t even remember if you ever called Iwa by his first name back in high school.

The conversation goes stale after that revelation and after cleaning up the dinner plates, you look at the clock on the oven.

“I should head back to campus. My group is meeting up early and it’ll be easier if I’m already there.”

“But the night’s still young, y/n!” Oikawa whines.

With a roll of the eyes, you walk down the hall to get your bag from one of the bedrooms. You know you could still technically stay a while longer, but even with a smile here and laugh there, it was too much. You had gotten over him while he was away, but were you still over him with him here? Isn’t that some saying, you aren’t really over someone until you can look them in the face and feel nothing?

“Bye Oikawa!” You wave as you walk to the door, Iwa in tow.

“Byyyeee!”

“I’ll let you know when I get back.” You push yourself onto your tiptoes and kiss his cheek; you’ve done this thousands of times, whenever you two part, but this time it feels forbidden.

“Let me walk you to your car.”

Before you can protest, he’s already slipping on his shoes and telling Oikawa he’ll be back. The walk down the stairs is awkward, you could tell he felt bad for not mentioning Oikawa’s visit.

“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything.” He sighs, “I just wanted to protect you.”

You couldn’t stay mad at Iwa, it was impossible. Over the six years you’d known each other, your longest fight lasted three days and two of them were because he was at an away game without his phone.

“I know,” you smirk, “But you so owe me.”

Iwa looks shocked, “For?”

“Two words: Campus. Dorm.” You hadn’t stayed in your actual dorm for weeks. You knew your roommate and were always welcomed back, but you preferred Iwa’s. If fact, about a year in university you were spending most of your days and nights at his apartment. Most of your stuff is in his apartment nowadays; your dorm only houses your bedding and a spare toothbrush for when you stay there.

“You can just stay here. Everything you own is scattered through the apartment anyways.” He shrugs. He wouldn’t come out and just say it but he wants you to stay. Whenever someone said they slept better with their significant other, he’d roll his eyes in disbelief. But you had ruined him, just knowing you wouldn’t be there when he fell asleep or woke up bugs him.

Your eyes widen in horror, “What are you gonna tell Oikawa? When he asks whose stuff is everywhere?” You flinch, the majority of your things were either in the bathroom or Iwa’s room.

“I’ll tell him the truth, that it’s my girlfriend’s.”

Your face turns bright red, “He’s gonna ask, you know?”

He rubs the back of his neck, “Yeah, I know. You still okay with this?” He motions between the two of you and it takes you a moment to understand what it is he’s asking.

“Yes! Don’t you even think that!” You gently hit his chest, “Nothing’s changed, Iwa-chan!”

He lets out a groan accompanied with an eye-roll at Oikawa’s annoying nickname for him. He trusts you and feels confident in your relationship, but Oikawa was your first love and well, he can’t really compete with that.

“I’ll call you when I get to campus. Have fun with Oikawa.” You tease him.

He leans down and kisses you softly on the lips. “Drive safe, love.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Oikawa dated all three years of high school, that is until he broke up with you out of nowhere. Then three years later, you open the door of Iwaizumi’s apartment to find Oikawa there.

When Iwa finally gets back to his apartment, Oikawa is sprawled out on the floor on his phone. Shaking his head, he simply walks passed him, grabbing two beers from the fridge. He just knows he’s gonna need some.

“Oi. Here.”

Oikawa takes the beer, clinking it against Iwa’s before taking a sip. While the two of you were gone, Oikawa practically dissected all the posts on both your social media profiles. He came up empty, either you weren’t dating or weren’t making it public. It’s driving him crazy to not know, while he wasn’t expecting you to be here, he’d be lying if he said seeing you didn’t stir something up inside him. Didn’t make him rethink the last three years, comparing them to the three you spend together.

“How long as you in town?”

“A week.” He makes eye contact with Iwa, “But I’ll find somewhere else tomorrow.”

Iwa shakes his head in protest, “Just stay in the spare room.”

“Is Y/N okay with that?” Oikawa raises an eyebrow, trying to see how he react; but he’s stoic as usual.

He nods, “As long as you don’t act like shittykawa, I’m sure things will be fine.”

A few beers later and Iwa’s phone goes off, he excuses himself to take it. Oikawa leans back on the couch, trying to not think about you but failing.

——

It was just like every other day, an early chilly morning before school. You and Oikawa were sitting on a bench close to the school, he had just finished up a brief practice. He enjoyed this time with you, before the campus filled with tons of students especially his “fan club”.

“Oh, I brought you something!”

“Oh really? What is it, princess?”

You pulled out a small bag and handed it to him: milk bread.

“Y/N, you’re the best. I love you.”

Your face turned bright pink.

“Oh, I…uhm…well, no, I love you.” He shrugs, “Wasn’t how I was planning on telling you.”

It made your heart skip, he had been planning on telling you that he loves you. And instead of some grand gesture or in some super overthought way, your dork of a boyfriend told you after getting milk break.

“You are such a dork.” You pulled him close and kissed him, “I love you too.”

There had been great days in Oikawa’s life; most of them included volleyball, but this day topped all of them. He draped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his side and kissing the top of your head.

“Say it again?”

Your face turned even redder, it extended to the tops of your ears, “I love you, Toru.”

Oikawa could’ve died right there and he’d have been a happy man. You and volleyball are all he needed in life and luckily, he wouldn’t have to choose one over the other, right?

Two years and three months later, he had to choose one and it wasn’t you.

——

Iwa comes back into the living room, “That was Y/N. She’s back at her dorm.”

“When did she start calling you Hajime?” His voice is full of regret and Iwa instantly picks up on it; his heart sinking.

“I’m not really sure, sometime during our first year here I think.”

“You two are together, aren’t you?” Oikawa asks, not really wanting to hear the answer. His eyes are closed and he feels like he’s going to be sick.

“Yeah. We are.” Iwa rubs the back of his neck, he never intended to keep this from his best friend.

“How long?”

“Three months.” There were several days within those months that Iwa had dialed Oikawa’s number just to hang up or not bring it up. He wanted to tell him, there was nothing keeping him from it other than himself; there was just some mental block.

“Guess you picked up all the piece, eh?” Oikawa stands up, chugging the beer on the table before grabbing his bag. He tries to think of where he can go because he can’t stay here. He doesn’t want to hear about how Iwa was there to catch you when he had left.

“It wasn’t like that. We…she didn’t even talk to me that summer or the first few months of school.” Iwa hates thinking about how you were back then, remembering just how broken you were when Oikawa left.

“Then enlighten me.”

“You broke her, shattered her, destroyed her.” He runs his fingers through his hair, “You were it for her and when you just left she fell apart. I honestly thought she didn’t come to university until we had a class together the second part of our first year.”

When Oikawa first left, Iwa assumed you’d need a few days to adjust, but it was after a few weeks that he tried reaching out. You ignored him. He eventually swung by your job at a local convenient store, only to find out that you had quit. When he went to see you at home, your mom had been the one to tell him of the break-up and that you had gone to stay with your aunt in Tokyo for the summer.

Iwa sits down, elbows on his knees with his head in his hands. Oikawa drops his bag, he didn’t realize how hard the break-up had hit you. With him going abroad, he thought it’d be easier for you. Though it hadn’t been easier for him either.

“I felt horrible, she’d become my best friend through high school and there she was and I didn’t know the slightest thing about her anymore. So, I sat next to her, made study plans with her, invited her to meals; anything that I knew she’d agree to and not see as unnecessary like parties.” He takes a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves.

Iwa tells Oikawa about how you’d practically jump each time your phone went off, praying that it was Oikawa. How you flinched every time someone brought up volleyball or when people would eagerly ask you if you knew Oikawa when they learned where you went to high school. Or that you missed two days of classes when she learned he had injured his bad knee again and that it was almost a year later when you actually gave Iwa a sincere smile and laugh.

Iwa doesn’t look up Oikawa as he recounts the last few years; part of him want his best friend to feel guilty and miserable, but the other part of him feels guilty for wanting that. He recalls the time when you called him first to make plans that didn’t include the library, studying or a lecture.

He laughs, “You know she came in here about a year and a half ago now, randomly telling me she hated all my furniture and over the next four months, she had completely redecorated the apartment.” Oikawa smirks, that sounded just like you.

Oikawa continues listening to Iwa. Learning that it may have taken you a bit longer than expected, but you learned to be happy again. That a day came where you could hear his name again without cringing and how one random night you brought up a memory of the three of you out of the blue. Oikawa isn’t sure if the ache in his chest is still from hearing about how you were or from the proud smile Iwa sports talking about you.

He stands up, once again picking up his bag before nodding his head towards the hallway. “I’m beat.”

“Oh, uh, yeah.” Iwa stands up, motioning his friend towards the guest room.

In three separate beds lay three individuals, minds all filled with a mix of worries, regrets, and memories. In the room at the end of the hall is Iwa, trying to convince himself that laying in the middle of the bed will prevent him from missing you. It’s been months since he’s slept alone; even before an official relationship, you slept in his apartment. It started by innocently crashing on the couch after a long day to Iwa saying you could keep a few things in the spare room until the start of your third year of university, about six months ago, when you found yourself in Iwa’s bed, cuddled to his side.

It’s not until his head hits the pillow that he finally realizes why he couldn’t tell Oikawa about the two of you; he never wanted Oikawa to think he liked you during high school. He didn’t want his best friend to try to tear apart every memory, wondering if Iwa had ever tried to sabotage the two of you. He didn’t want him feeling that all his advice through your relationship was in hopes to break you two up. Because that wasn’t the case, although he couldn’t pin point when he had fallen for you, he knew without a doubt that he didn’t look or think about you in that way during your time with Oikawa. All Iwa wanted in the world was for you and Oikawa to be happy.

Just down the hall, Oikawa finds himself sitting on the edge of the bed thinking about what Iwa has just told him. He didn’t want to imagine you the broke mess he learned you had been, it’s what got him through the last three years. It was the immature reason why when he got on the plane, he didn’t glance back. He falls back on the bed, his face in his hands as he lets out a groan. This isn’t what he expected when he came to visit, he thought he and Iwa would hang out, talk about old times, and just have a good time; seeing his ex-girlfriend aka the only girl he’s ever loved was not part of his plans.

He doesn’t like that Iwa was the one who helped you get through the break-up. He doesn’t like that you were completely destroyed. He doesn’t like that three years ago he took the coward’s way out and broke up with you. Seeing you just brought up all the feelings he’d been burying for these last few years, reminding him of all the reasons why the two of you fit together so well and why he fell in love with you. And he definitely doesn’t like feeling like he’s too late because all he wants is to beg for you back. He groans again, wanting for just a moment that he could turn off his thoughts.

Across the city you’re in your college dorm room, laying on the uncomfortable twin mattress that creaks every time you roll over to adjust. Even when you move as slowly as possible, it squeaks and you feel awful for your roommate; even though she’s assured you that she can’t hear a thing. Tonight isn’t going how you originally planned, you woke up this morning thinking that you’d spend the night at Iwa’s, wake up early to him cooking breakfast and then rush to campus to work on your project. But with the slight turn of events, you probably won’t eat until lunch and be early to your group project.

There’s a pit in your stomach, thinking back to the moment you opened the door to see your ex-boyfriend standing there; looking way too good for someone that you wanted to hate. You smack your hands to your face letting out a low groan as your mind wanders. You have worked so hard to get over Oikawa; to be able to breathe and live again after he just left you. His sun-tanned skin, soft brown eyes, all have your stomach in knots and you don’t realize just how long you’ve been holding your breath until your phone vibrates.

Oikawa: You awake? (2:34 am)

Oikawa: It’s Oikawa Toru (2:34 am)

Oikawa: I’m so sorry if you’re sleeping (2:35 am)

Your stomach twists more, surely this was a coincidence and not the universe sending you a sign, right?

Y/N: Did you just send your ex a ‘you up’ text? (2:39 am)

Y/N: Classily Toru (2:39 am)

He sharply inhales, the use of his first name leaves him shocked. All night you had avoided his name altogether, going to the lengths of talking to the wooden table, but here you were using his first name. He has two favorite sounds: a volleyball smacking his hand and the way you say his name, especially his first name. You stare at the text, mentally kicking yourself for the slip up, but it felt comfortable.

Oikawa: I didn’t mean it like that (2:41 am)

Oikawa: Just wanted to talk (2:41 am)

Your hands shake as your thumbs hover over where the J and D are located. Could you? Could you just talk to Oikawa? Act as if he didn’t carelessly toss everything in the closest airport trashcan as he walked towards his gate three years ago? Could you talk to him like you did back when you first met and had become friends? Before you have time to type anything, it buzzes again in your hand and your chest constricts.

Oikawa: I know this is three years late (2:45 am)

Oikawa: And this won’t mean much at all (2:45 am)

Oikawa: Wait, I’m going to call. Hold on (2:46 am)

His hands start to sweat, feeling clammy as he tries to calm his nerves. You start to slightly panic before practically jumping out of bed and rushing into the bathroom. The light blinds you momentarily and the door clicks shut just as his name pops up on your screen, your phone buzzing repeatedly.

Taking one last breath you swipe the screen, putting your phone to your ear, “Hello?

He picks up on the shakiness of your voice, hoping his will sound more still, “Hey.”

Your stomach is all but completely knotted up as his voice fills your mind. It’s soft, like it usually was right before school in the early mornings or when he answered the phone right after he woke up. But you pick up on how it shakes just like yours, wondering what has him so nervous.

“Y/N, I am so sorry.”

“It’s…” he cuts you off.

“Wait, please let me get this all out.”

You nod, instantly realizing he can’t see you.

“An apology won’t ever be enough for what I did. What I put you through. But I am so sorry.”

Tears gently fall down your face, you wanted those words for years. Dreamed about hearing him call and apologize, saying that he made a mistake. Here you were, squatting on the floor in your dorm bathroom at nearly 3 am getting exactly what you wanted all those years ago, but is it what you need now?

“I know and I forgive Toru.” You feel winded, wondering if you really did forgive him. You know that you did, you had years ago because it was once you did that you started to feel better.

There’s a wide smile on his face, “Thank you, Y/N. Could we maybe get together? To just catch up, that is.”

“I have a project tomorrow, but I’m free Sunday.” You bite your lip nervously, but feel your stomach untwist only to fill with butterflies? Are you allowed to get butterflies with an ex? Maybe they were more like moths.

“Sunday. It’s a date then.” He catches his words just as they leave him, he leans against the wall feeling like an idiot. You were dating his best friend, he needed to word things more carefully, he didn’t want to come between you and Iwa.

“Yeah. A date.” You don’t think twice about the term, it was just an expression.

What you also didn’t think twice about is that the room Oikawa is in shares a wall with Iwa’s. The exact wall that Oikawa is leaning up against and the same Iwa who heard just enough of the conversation to feel heartbroken.

This was part of the reason when he tried telling you where Oikawa had been planning to stay, he didn’t correct your when you said girlfriend even though he knew that wasn’t correct. He was going to stay with his sister, but his nephew was sick and he didn’t want to risk it. The same way Iwa didn’t want to risk giving Oikawa an in with you. He trusts you, more than anything, but that doesn’t stop his insecurities from creeping in convincing him that he’s not worthy of anything; especially not someone like you.

When he asked you if you were still okay with dating him, it was more for him than you. He needed to know that he hadn’t been some last stitch way for you to hold onto Oikawa. That you had picked him for him, you had picked Iwaizumi Hajime and not Iwa-chan Oikawa’s best friend. And now at 3:10 am, those same insecurities wrap around him as he can’t help but wonder if your relationship is on stolen time.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Oikawa dated all three years of high school, that is until he broke up with you out of nowhere. Then three years later, you open the door of Iwaizumi’s apartment to find Oikawa there.

Just like you assumed, you were early to your group project; the first one there to be honest. The ticking of the lone clock on the wall closest to your table in the library is the only sound that fills the room. You hate studying in the library, it’s too quiet and the lack of noise doesn’t help calm your thoughts. It does just the opposite because without sounds to fill your mind, your thoughts run wild.

Your phone call with Oikawa had ended shortly after it started, but you didn’t fall asleep right away. Your mind had been replaying Oikawa’s words; his apology and him asking to meet up. It wasn’t until you had hung up, that the word “date” no longer seemed like just an expression and the moths in your stomach had turned into butterflies.

Absentmindedly you tap your pen on the table, no real beat in mind until the voices of group members filled the room and you go into work mode. After just a few hours, everyone finished up their portions and the finishing touches were added, meaning all that was left was it to be submitted Monday.

After everyone mumbled goodbyes, you let out a deep sigh before heading towards the parking lot. Your mind is still clouded with last night’s events as you drive, it’s not until you’ve pulled into the apartment’s parking lot that you realize you had been spaced out the whole. How you didn’t get in an accident was lost on you. You chalk it up to muscle memory as you walk up to the third floor and use your key to get in.

“I’m back!”

Silence.

You look around the apartment, checking each room thoroughly only to find you are there alone. There’s no missed phone calls or messages from either Iwaizumi or Oikawa which is strange; Iwa always lets you know where he is so you don’t worry. The clock on the wall tells you that it’s only 4:30pm so there’s no real need to get anxious but still, Iwa is such a homebody.

Another hour passes before you hear the lock being messed with from the outside before it opens, your boyfriend walking in alone. You give him a puzzled expression because the last you heard, Oikawa was staying at his apartment. Iwa either doesn’t see your expression or ignores it, neither set right with you.

“Hajime, where’s Oikawa?”

You watch him slip his shoes off, placing them on the rack before he walks across the living room and into the kitchen, silently. Taking a deep breath as you follow him, slightly cornering him before repeating your question.

“I dropped him off at a hotel.” His tone is flat, you’ve never seen this side of him before and you don’t like it.

“Why?” You can hear your heart pounding in your ears, an almost familiar sense of dread washes over you. Not again, I can’t do this again.

“We need to talk.”

You stand still but inside you are screaming. Your mouth goes completely dry as you digest those dreadful four words. A small voice says okay but you aren’t sure if it’s yours or some figment of your imagination.

“I don’t…” He inhales deeply, anxiously twisting the cap on the water bottle he’s holding back and forth, “I really do care about you, Y/N. Please never think that I don’t, it’s just…”

There’s a pit in your stomach and the urge to vomit is strong, you can feel your body begging you to let it shake, to let the anxiety in your chest course through your body, but you stand still. Refusing to help him figure out what he’s trying to say, you stand there secretly praying that this is some sick prank and Oikawa’s recording it somewhere.

“Oikawa came back and…I heard some of your phone call,” he runs his fingers through his hair, a nervous habit.

Phone call? You think as quick and hard as you can about what you said to Oikawa last night, but nothing comes to mind.

Date! Oikawa said date. Iwa, no. No no no no! The words shout throughout your head, flow through your body, but your mouth won’t open so they can slip off your lips.

“I can’t be second place, Y/N. I saw how you looked at him and I don’t want to be in between whatever feelings came back.”

“So that’s it? I don’t get a say? This is almost just like what Oikawa did.” By looking up at the ceiling and blinking rapidly, you hope to prevent the tears from falling.

The drip of the sink faucet suddenly echoes loudly as if competing with the humming of the fluorescent light overhead, as if the silence between you and Iwa had gotten too unbearable for even the inanimate objects in the room.

Even if you were looking at him, you wouldn’t have seen the hurt in his eyes as you compared him to Oikawa, how those words snaked their way in his ears and found a home next to all his other insecurities that kept him up. The same insecurities that were taking you away from him right now. You didn’t see how much pain he felt as he gripped the counter afraid that if he let go, his knees would give out but wanting to reach out and touch you just one more time.

“I…I want you to stay here. I just mean that I know you hate the dorms, so the spare room is all yours.” He clears his throat, “For as long as you need.”

Silence.

“I thought I’d leave for a bit. Give you some space. I won’t be out too late though.”

Silence.

He doesn’t say anything and neither do you as he swipes his keys off the counter and walks towards the door, slipping his shoes on. He moves so fast it’s like a blur or maybe it’s from the tears that cloud your sight and before you know it, the apartment door is closing and the tears finally fall down your cheeks.

Your heart sinks to the ground and you suddenly feel cold, the air around you becomes thick making it almost impossible to breathe. There’s panic in your chest and for the first time in a long time you feel completely alone. With shaking hands, you grab your phone from your back pocket only to realize the one person you’d call is the same person whose left you in this state. With no other choice you choose the last number you’d ever thought you call.

* *  
Iwaizumi sits in his car, tightly gripping the steering wheel before finding an empty parking lot to pull into. It was as soon as he left the apartment complex that he realized he didn’t have anyone to go to because the person he usual went to was the very one he left standing alone in the kitchen.

It’s when the car shuts off that he realizes how loud everything is, how overwhelming and suffocating his thoughts have been growing. They are screaming at him, tearing him apart but he’s terrified of covering his ears, of getting a moment of silence; worried he’ll end up forgotten and left in Oikawa’s shadow and that thought alone completely destroys him.

To someone on the outside passing his car, it looks like he’s just sitting there, forehead pressed to the steering wheel or maybe they’d think he was even napping. But in Iwaizumi’s mind he’s struggling to swim in the waves that are his thoughts, the water crashing into him filling his lungs and slowly drowning him as he reaches out hoping that you’ll be the one to save him.

* *  
“Y/N, please tell me what happened?” Oikawa is standing in the hallway, trying to stop you from walking away from him again. When he had arrived at the apartment you were already moving things from Iwa’s room to the spare room refusing to answer his questions.

“I will explain everything after you help me.” You grab the front of his shirt, dragging him into Iwa’s room. You motion for him to hold out his arms and once he does, you begin to fill them with your clothes from the dresser. When his arms are full, you scoop up an armful yourself before heading in the spare room, dropping them on the bed.

Oikawa follows your lead, leaving all his questions to be asked later while he helps fill the spare room with everything you own. You even have him go as far as removing your things from the bathroom, telling him you’ll just buy a mirror and get ready in the bedroom.

He doesn’t comment on the red rings around your eyes or how you limit your sentences to just a few words as if trying to prevent your voice from cracking. He watches as each step you take makes you look smaller, hears how the lively tone you had just yesterday is dulled and sees that your bottom lip hasn’t stop quivering since he got there.

He wants to reach out, pull you into his arms, hold you until the cracks are healed, but he can’t. His mouth dries as he wonders if this is how you were when he left, if this empty shell of a person was really you when he got on that plane. Sure, Iwa had told him how you acted, but seeing this, putting Iwa’s words with this visual just hit different. And Oikawa wasn’t sure if he was allowed to let his heart break because if you were anything like this back then, he didn’t deserve to.

It doesn’t fully hit him until he calls your name and you turn around, tears covering your cheeks as you choke out cries instead of words that he realizes he doesn’t deserve you. It’s hard to swallow, but as your tears dampen the fabric on his shoulder while your heart breaks for his best friend, it becomes clear that you were never meant to be his forever.

When you excuse yourself to clean up in the bathroom, he takes it upon himself to stuff the pile of clothes into the empty dresser. He moves some other things around, straightening the room up enough for you to be able to sleep comfortably. You tell him the gist of what Iwa said to you before he left and Oikawa can fell his leg start bouncing from irritation.

Oikawa leaves the room to get you a glass of water and when he returns you’re fast asleep, the emotional rollercoaster of a day completely draining you. Placing the glass on the nightstand next to you, he gently brushes the loose hair off your face wishing more than anything it was him you were dreaming about.

* *  
It’s close to 10pm when Iwaizumi quietly sneaks into his own apartment. Or at least he tries to; when he puts his shoes on the rack, it falls over, when he grabs a water bottle out of the fridge, not only does the door slam but the bottle hit the floor. He swears under his breath as he walks to the end of the hall. When he walks into his room, there’s an emptiness that coats him when he sees the closet is opened and half empty along with the top dresser drawers that used to hold your clothes. He rushes into the bathroom only to find the same feeling, your shampoo, body wash and razor all gone from the tub and perfume and face wash missing from the sink.

The door to the second bedroom is shut and he doesn’t dare open it. Not sure what he’d say if you were in there and unsure of how he’d handle it being empty. He sinks to the floor when he closes his bedroom door, resting his head back against the door.

* *  
The next morning, he wakes up earlier than usual, but the pit that’s in his stomach hasn’t gone away. He rolls over, staring at the cold and empty side of his bed before pushing himself off the bed and makes his way towards the kitchen. The spare bedroom door is cracked, but he can’t see in there, although he can tell from the silence you aren’t home.

His phone vibrates and the eagerness of it being you fades when he sees Oikawa’s name. He lets out a yawn before answering.

“Iwa-chan! What are you doing?”

He squeezes his eyes shut, it’s too early for this. “Waking up.”

“You have five minutes to get ready, we’re going out.”

“I don’t feel like going anywhere.” Iwa opens the cabinet to get his favorite mug, but it’s matching one is missing, the one that was your favorite.

“I wasn’t asking.” Oikawa is biting back his anger. “Seriously, tick tock.”

Iwa rolls his eyes before hanging up. He walks back to his room, throwing on jeans and a hoodie. By the time he’s finished getting ready, there’s a knock at the door and he feels his stomach sink. Last he heard, you and Oikawa were supposed to be going out today, were you two coming to tell him that you’d gotten back together?

He could handle that, right? As long as his two favorite people were happy, he could be happy too, right? He could go back to just friends with you, right? He nods in reply to his own thoughts, yeah, he could after some time had passed because all he wanted was a smile to stay on your face regardless if it was from him or not.

To his surprise, it’s just Oikawa standing at his door and Iwa starts to wonder just where you could be if not here and not with Oikawa. He’s not given much time to think before Oikawa is dragging him out of the doorway and down the stairs.

“Where are we going, Shittykawa?”

Oikawa rolls his eyes, Iwaizumi could really piss him sometimes, but today isn’t about him and his feelings. The two of them walk towards a nearby park, it’s empty other than a few birds before Oikawa turns to Iwa.

“What did you say to Y/N?” There is no mistaking the anger plastered on Oikawa’s face as Iwa struggles to formulate a sentence.

“I just told her what we already knew.” He kicks the dirt by his foot, refusing to make eye contact with his best friend.

“What’s that because I don’t know.” He scoffs, “All I know is she called me crying and it was because of you.”

Iwa pales, of course you’d call Oikawa, why wouldn’t you? He lets out a humorless laugh, his whole life people don’t him not to listen to those suffocating thoughts, but they were right and this was the proof he needed.

“I told her that I can’t compete with you.” He shakes his head, “You’re her first love, that means something.”

Oikawa isn’t sure if he should be more upset that Iwa thinks that or that that’s the reason he used. He hates knowing that some part of his friend feels inferior to him, that somewhere deep down he believes those vicious lies. Or if he hates Iwa used that reason because it sounds like a shitty excuse and his Iwaizumi doesn’t make excuses.

“It may have meant something years ago, but not now.”

“Sure, it does. It’s you and I don’t compare to that.”

“Compare to what? The guy who left her to fall apart in an airport because I was too scared that she’d leave me. That’s who you want to be like? The guy who broke her so she didn’t break him?”

“I’m sure she’d understand if you explain it to her.”

“She picked you dumbass!” Oikawa yells, stunning Iwa who up until now has been looking at the ground.

“But…”

“NO! No buts. She picked YOU. She wants YOU. She’s crying and it’s for YOU.” He drags his fingers through his hair, trying to calm down; his voice breaking at the end of each sentence.

Iwaizumi stands there, mouth slightly opened in shock; he’s never seen Oikawa like this.

“I haven’t seen her smile like that before. Not even with me.” Oikawa just shakes his head, turning to look back at Iwa with a broken expression. “Don’t be like me and wait three years just to be too late. You both deserve better than that.”

“What about you? You deserve better too.”

Oikawa shrugs, “One day, but right now it’s your turn to get the girl.”

* *  
Iwaizumi hates the fact that he wore jeans today because they aren’t helping him as he runs back towards his apartment complex. He’s not sure you’ll be there, but he can’t let himself think that you aren’t. Breathless, he calls your phone again, the fifth time since leaving the park, but it goes to voicemail.

His lungs are burning, chest heaving when he gets close enough to see you in the parking lot of the complex. He sees you trying to shove a suitcase into your backseat, but failing; the angle was off and you constant shoving isn’t going to change much.

His heart breaks because you were leaving him. Not just leaving him, but it didn’t seem like you were even going to tell him.

“Y/N.” He calls out, jogging over to your car; he startles you and the suitcase slips out of your hands, landing on the ground in front of you.

You yank the suitcase, going back to trying to wedge it into the backseat before throwing your arms up, defeatedly. Fresh tears fill your eyes as you feel him walk up behind, gently placing his hand on your shoulder.

“Y/N, please wait.” His voice cracks, you’re close enough that he can touch you, but still feel so far away.

Your heart breaks, you didn’t want to leave him, but he didn’t give you any other choice. You wanted to give yourself a clean break, but him showing up isn’t going to allow that.

“I…can we talk, please?”

You turn around, “I don’t like your talks, Iwaizumi. They hurt.”

If it wasn’t already broken, his heart would have shattered from the disheartened and painful tone your voice carries. He did this to you, he broke you the same way you had been three years ago and he can’t even look at you.

“I didn’t want this,” he starts but his voice cracks. “It’s just…how can I…no that’s not right. Oikawa came back in the picture and I should’ve asked you but I got scared. My thoughts got the best of me and I was worried I wouldn’t hear what I wanted.”

He takes a deep breath, trying to steady his voice as tears pool in his eyes, “I just don’t want you to wake up and regret choosing me.”

All the tears you’ve been trying to hold back, flood down your face; in the six years you’ve know Iwa he’s never cried in front of you. You’ve seen him mad, sad, upset, but you’ve never seen him afraid.

“…Hajime.” You chew on your bottom lip, his words hurt you to hear. Guilt starts to weigh on your shoulders because it never crossed your mind to let him know you wanted him for him. For the last three years you leaned on him without really giving him anything in return.

You pressed your hands on each side of his face, using your thumbs to wipe the tears away. Without thinking he pulls you into him, burying his face into the curve of your neck and you wrap your arms around his waist.

He whispers ‘I’m sorry’ repeatedly into your neck as he chokes out sobs that shake your body. You can feel as he presses into you as if you’re going to disappear once he lets go.

“I’m not always going to like what you have to say sometimes, but that’s okay because we can work through anything.” You tell him when his breathing finally slowed, “I can’t help you unless you tell me, you know?”

He nods into your shoulder before finally pulling back; his cheeks are tear-stained and his eyes red. You give him a small smile before pulling him into a hug, hoping that as you hold on it’ll fix the parts that feel broken.

His voice is rough and cracks as he finally speaks, “I want you to stay. If you want to.”

“I want to.” You let out a breath, wiping your own eyes with your jacket sleeve, “You could’ve said this before I carried everything down three flights of stairs.”

He lets out a laugh before picking up the suitcase you had been struggling with.

You’re half way up the first set of stairs before you look over at him, “You can just put that in the second bedroom for me.”

He shoots you look that you laugh at but all he can do is shake his head, “Guess I deserved that.”

“Hajime,” he looks at you, sitting the suitcase down while reaching for his keys, “Promise you’ll always talk to me about things?”

He presses a kiss to your forehead, “Yeah, I promise.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Oikawa dated all three years of high school, that is until he broke up with you out of nowhere. Then three years later, you open the door of Iwaizumi’s apartment to find Oikawa there.

“Oikawa, I swear to God if you don’t stop screwing around.” Iwa glares at his best friend who has left his fingerprints on almost every glass cabinet as they walk further into the store.

“What can I help you gentlemen with today?” The employee asks, wearing a friendly smile.

“An engagement ring.” Iwa states matter-of-factly.

“Any particular style? Number of stones? Band width?”

“Oh, uhm…” Iwa trails off, he didn’t realize there’d be so many questions.

“Something simple yet sophisticated. Thin band with maybe one stone.” Oikawa adds.

“Yeah, what he said.”

The man smiles before he heads to another display, pulling out a few options and placing them on a small tray. Oikawa is bouncing on the balls of feet, this was exciting.

Iwa is carefully and thoughtfully looking at each ring, gently placing one back on the tray before picking up another.

“Do you know the size you’d be getting?”

Iwa looks up, grabbing Oikawa’s left hand, “Whatever this would be.”

“Oh, oh my!” The employee breaks into a huge smile, “Congratulations. I just thought…my apologizes, congratulations.”

Iwa’s face is a dark red, but before he can protest, Oikawa throws his arm around his shoulder, “Thank you. Took him forever to finally ask, but that’s my Iwa-Chan.”

“Dumbass! What did I say when we got here?” Iwa shoves Oikawa to the side, “He just happens to have long, thin hands like my girlfriend.”

The employee is embarrassed, “I am so sorry.”

“Don’t be, he’s an idiot.” Iwa shakes his head, giving his attention back to the rings in front of him.

“Don’t be so rude, Iwa-Chan. You couldn’t handle me anyways.” Oikawa winks.

“I’m going to punch you in the face if you don’t shut up.” He holds two rings up, “Which one?”

Oikawa picks the one that Iwa has also been favoring, but not before he could slip it on his finger.

“IWA-CHAN LOOK!” The setter’s eyes are wide open and he’s smiling, “I think it looks better on me than it will Y/N.” He flips his hand down in front of Iwa, showing off the ring.

“I think you better take it off before I take it off for you.”

Oikawa pokes out his lip before slipping the ring off and handing it to the employee. “He’ll take this one.”

The employee walks off to the back to get the paperwork and Oikawa turns to Iwa, “You getting nervous?”

“I wasn’t until you said something.”

“I mean, she could say no.”

Iwa punches him in the arm, getting a whine from his friend, “I hadn’t thought of that. Thanks.”

Oikawa rubs his arm, “Someone thinks highly of himself.”

Iwa rolls his eyes. Once the employee returns, Iwa fills out the paperwork, pays and leaves; a small black box in tow.

“Where are you going to propose?”

“Oh, there’s this bench on campus…”

Oikawa cuts his off, “A bench? Iwaizumi, seriously?”

He scratches the back of his head, under his right ear, “It’s uhm…well it’s kinda our bench. The first time she asked me to hangout, we sat on it and when I asked her to be my girlfriend, it was at that bench.”

Oikawa is shocked, he didn’t think Iwa was so sappy, but maybe that’s just the effect of having you in his life. “Can we decorate the bench?”

“No.”

“So moody, Iwa-Chan.”

* *  
A smile spread across your face as you walked up to Iwa, he’s at the bench that was exactly twenty steps off the sidewalk and slightly hidden behind a big tree in the middle of campus. You were going to miss this bench when you both graduated in a few short weeks.

It’s been a long day and you’d hadn’t seen Iwa as much since he was off with Oikawa who had come in for another unexpected visit. He seemed to be doing that more, but you didn’t think too much of it.

“Hey stranger.” You throw your arms around his neck, pulling him down into a kiss.

“Hello to you too.” He kisses you back.

You see him, looking extremely nervous and you’re a little worried. Since your temporary break-up a year ago, you both had worked on communication. This was unlike Iwa because he’d made it a point to tell you his thoughts before letting them take a hold of him.

“Hajime, what’s wrong?” You reach up, placing a hand on cheek, smiling as he leans into the warmth.

“Y/N,” he starts, swallowing the nerves that crawl up his throat, “I have enjoyed every day with you and I love you more than anything. I want to give you everything I can, everything that you’ll want and need but I can’t do that as just your boyfriend.”

Your sudden confusion disappears when you see him pulling something out of his pocket and getting down on his right knee. Your hands immediately cover your mouth and your cheeks start to burn.

Oikawa’s been on the other side of the tree the whole time, his phone recording the tender exchange. There’s a half smile on his face as he watches you, throw your arms around Iwa’s next, repeatedly saying yes, through the phone screen. He chews the inside of his cheek, he knew that you’d say yes, that you and Iwa belong to each other, but that didn’t stop the tear from slipping down his cheek as he ended the recording.

**Two years later**

“You look beautiful, Y/N.” Oikawa says with a smile, spinning you around.

“Thank you. You look dashing in that suit.” You smile, “Thank you for everything.”

He shrugs, “That’s just what the best man does.”

You tilt your head to the side, “That video was a really cute idea. Don’t think I didn’t see the ones you snuck in of yourself.”

Oikawa had compiled a short video of pictures from both your and Iwaizumi’s childhoods, school days, ones throughout your relationship and ended with the video of his proposal. He had snuck in a few where he was blocking Iwa’s face as well, but Iwa was in it, so it still counted right?

“Just giving you one more chance to change your mind.” He playfully winks at you as you continue to sway to the music playing.

You don’t say anything, opting to just rest your cheek on his shoulder as the song slowly came to an end. He didn’t let go right away, holding you against him a few seconds longer because he knows this is it. In his mind when he lets you go, it’s officially over, there’s never going to be another chance for him. Maybe you had always belonged to Iwa, but today made that painfully official and not just because you were now Iwaizumi Y/N.

You smile at him when he finally lets you go, placing a soft hand on his cheek. You thank him for the dance, turning to find your husband before he stops you, calling out your name.

“It might not have been for as long as I wanted, but I am glad I got to love you even if for just a little bit.” His voice is low and he’s not sure you even heard him.

Tears fill your eyes and you decide to give him a small smile, knowing that nothing you said would be right. He nods as if to tell you that he understood everything you wanted to say through the smile.

“There you are,” Iwa walks over to the two of you, pulling you into his arms. He gives you a quick kiss, “We have to cut the cake.”

Oikawa watches you and Iwa head towards the cake, hand in hand, everyone gushing about how perfect you two looked together. It was true that Oikawa was your first love, but Iwaizumi is your last and that’s all that mattered.


	5. you healed me first (Bonus)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five years after the love of Oikawa’s life marries his best friend, he finds himself at the bench Iwaizumi proposed wondering what was so special about it anyways.

5 years later

Oikawa’s phone rings and it’s Iwa, excitedly yelling in his ear that his wife just had a healthy baby girl and reminding him that his son wanted his Uncle Tooru to video call so he could show off his new sister.

It should’ve gotten easier in the last five years to hear about his best friend’s life, the life he had built with the love of Oikawa’s life. Part of him still regrets sending Iwa to her, back to the only girl he’s ever wanted. He wished instead of telling Iwa that him being her first love didn’t matter, that he used that to his advantage to win her back, but he didn’t.

He wished that he would’ve ran to her before Iwa proposed, confessed just one last time hoping the words didn’t fall on deaf ears. Or maybe when she asked for him during a pre-wedding freak out, he had told her to run away with him, but he didn’t. He reassured her that Iwaizumi was the best choice and a great man and told her not to worry because she was in good hands.

Oikawa swallowed back the bitter jealousy when she had called to tell him she was pregnant with their first child three years ago and then again just nine months ago. He bit his tongue when he saw her holding their son, just for a moment wishing it had been him she’d had a baby with, that it was Uncle Hajime instead of Uncle Tooru.

Which is why for no particular reason he finds himself at that stupid bench that Iwa proposed to her at. He hadn’t bothered telling anyone he had come to Japan, that he was planning on moving back because if he was being honest he didn’t have a reason to anymore; hadn’t had a reason in a while. He stands in front of it, examining it, wondering just what was so special about this bench. It was a bench. An old wooden bench that had clearly seen better days. He hates it and feels slightly dumb for hating it all at the same time. Without any real reason, he kicks it. Then kicks it again. And again.

“Yeah, I heard that bench talks a lot of shit. Probably deserved it.”

Oikawa’s head whips around to see you standing there with a slightly amused expression. You let the bag on your shoulder drop to the ground when you get closer and to his surprise you kick the bench. You pick up on his confused expression and laugh.

“Like I said, it probably deserved it.” You shrug, “Want to talk about it?”

Not really. He sits down on the bench, legs spread out with his head tossed back, “My best friend had his second kid today.”

“And that’s bad because…?” You sit down on the other end of the bench, turned to face him with one leg pulled under you.

“The mom…his wife…she’s my ex and kinda the love of my life.” He pulls up his head and looks at you, “I’m awful, right?”

You shake your head, “Not at all. You don’t really get a say in who you fall in love with. But…”

He looks at you as you grab your bag, throw it over your shoulder and then reach out your hand.

“But what?”

“Well you said kinda the love of your life, which means we just have to find the actual love of your life.” You grab his hand, pulling him up to his feet, “That’s the easy part.”

You wink at him as he scoffs, shaking his head. If it was easy, he’d have already found them, right?

But it was in fact easy because what Oikawa didn’t know was he found the actual love of his life, the moment your hand wrapped around his.

**Author's Note:**

> Song Choice: you broke me first - Tate McRae
> 
> Find me on Tumblr: kaitycole


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